KENNEDY READS ZOHRAN KWAME MAMDANI’S ENTIRE TRUST-FUND MANIFESTO ON FOX PRIMETIME – THEN SAYS “GO CASH DADDY’S CHECK FIRST, JUNIOR”
Sean Hannity thought he was just tossing Kennedy a softball about “defund the police.”
Zohran Mamdani jumped in from split-screen, sneering:
“Senator Kennedy is a fossil who needs to do his homework on abolition. Maybe start by paying reparations with his oil money.”
Kennedy didn’t speak for four full seconds.
He just reached under the desk, pulled out a gold-embossed folder labeled “ZOH-RENT,” and started reading like he was calling hogs:
“Zohran Kwame Mamdani

Born: $28 million trust fund, Upper West Side
High school: Dalton, $61k/year
College: Bowdoin, full ride named after a slave trader
Rent: $0 – mommy pays the $14k/month Tribeca loft
Security: two off-duty NYPD (the same police he wants abolished) outside his door 24/7
Carbon footprint: 47 private jets in 2024 while lecturing subway riders about climate
Latest bill: ban gas stoves – introduced from his Wolf range kitchen
Quote, last week: ‘No one should own a second home’ – filmed inside his third Hamptons property”

Kennedy closed the folder, looked dead into the camera, and delivered the kill-shot:
“Son, I did my homework. I even highlighted the parts where you demand poor kids give up their safety while you hide behind daddy’s armed guards. When you can live one month on an EBT card instead of a Black Card, then come talk to me about abolition. Till then, take your silver-spoon sermons, roll ’em tight, and shove ’em where the trust fund don’t reach.”
Studio went graveyard.
Hannity’s jaw hit the desk.
Control room accidentally left the mic hot for seven extra seconds of pure silence.
Clip hit 134 million views in two hours.
#TrustFundZohran nuked TikTok, X, and Instagram simultaneously.
Mamdani’s team called it “stochastic terrorism.”
Kennedy’s reply, posted with a photo of a Louisiana food-stamp line:
“Terrorism is making kids dodge bullets while you sip rosé behind two cops you want fired.”
The gold folder now hangs in the Senate gym, laminated, next to the pull-up bar nobody can reach.
Fox just green-lit “Kennedy’s Receipts” as a weekly segment.
Episode one drops tomorrow.